Ryan's Fourth

And so the last Birthday party of the "Biggs' Birthday" season is finally over, ha ha, but boy it was fun!! Ryan is our son that can make me boiling mad at times and in the next instant be rolling on the floor laughing together! He has such a personality and makes sure that everyone knows about it. My mom has reminded me that some children are placed on this earth to test us, well I was one of the lucky moms that got one of those "testy" children, ha ha. He was just the sweetest baby, I mean really sweet. I hate to admit it but when I found out I was pregnant with him I was in a bit of a panic!! Josh was only 4 and a half months old, I didn't think that could happen, but I knew I would be ok as long as it was a girl (or at least thats what I said, ha ha) so when we found out he was a boy, I cried. Yes cried, what a mean mom!!! But I quickly got over it because he was just so easy going and so adorable!!

I keep a book of the funny things that the boys' say and more than half of them are from Ryan, because the things that he thinks of and says are to funny to forget!! He has such an imagination and loves to tell BIG stories. I can't wait for him to get into school, and watch him continue to grow!! I am so thankful for you Ryan and love you so much!!

Well recovering from so many things this last month has been a bit harder than I thought it would be!! We had all three of the boys get sick a few weeks ago, then we had Willey's parents come for a visit (which was really for Willey and his dad to get some hunting in) then the miscarriage thing happened while they were here, and before I had a moment to think about it Zack got terribly sick and was having a hard time breathing, he kept choking on his mucus and turning not normal shades of colors that he should have been!! So off to the DR's and she said he just may have athsma, and lots of mucus, so she put him on a steroid, an antibiotic and sent me home with a prescription for a breathing machine! WHEW, deep breath!! So when we finally made it home, like 3 hours after the appointment (I hate waiting for prescriptions!!) got the boys lunch, meds and to bed. I haven't ran, except one day on the treadmill, and ended up hurting my foot, ha ha I guess when it rains it pours and the last couple of weeks it has been FLOODING! ha ha but good thing I love to swim and know how to keep my head above that water no matter how high it gets. So a weekend of icing and babying my foot and I was back out there today, 2 miles and it strangely felt good and was surprisingly easy to do.
Today is my countdown with my training I only have 12 weeks until the half marathon, so its serious time, no excuses and that means only 12 weeks to get to my goal weight, I can totally do it. So if any of you see me with like ice cream or a donut in my hand hurry and grab it and throw it away!! :)!! That would be helpful :)!!

So the new year has been full already!!I feel a bit silly even posting this, but its so just on my mind and it might be a little TMI for some, so I apologize!!! For those who didn't know we had been trying to have another baby the last few months and every month no luck. I have a friend who has signed up to do a half marathon in April, so I had decided if I hadn't gotten pregnant in December, I too was going to sign up and do the half marathon and start training in January. Well needless to say I starting doing my training in January. I am totally not a runner and so as I have been able to run a mile without stopping, then two I have gotten so proud of myself. Well this last week on Monday, we had Willey's dad and step mom visiting, and she said she would watch the boys so I could do my three miles. So I was determined to do it, no stopping!! And I did!! 3 whole miles without stopping!! I was on top of the world that day!! Going to bed that night I was exhausted!! I woke up in the middle of the night not feeling so well, and found that I was bleeding, WHAT?? I had already had my monthly visitor, so what was going on? Well I took a pg test and it was positive! again WHAT?? I had been so focused on training and times the last couple of weeks I felt almost guilty that I didn't know!! Almost 4 weeks along and I didn't know? Anyways long story a bit shorter, a couple of visits to the Dr, and I found out on Friday that I had miscarried. I was so devastated, and just not knowing how to feel!! I still don't know how to feel about it!! But life goes as it goes and Willey had to go to work that night, but we have been so blessed to have good friends that came and had dinner with me and the boys, and they took the boys all Saturday so I could rest, and even took Josh and Ryan to church on Sunday! I am ok just a bit bummed and just sometimes I wish I could see a glimpse of the future ya know?? I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and this was his way of letting me know that this isn't the time for me to have another one. It seems to help to talk about it, and I am hoping that writing it out will help also. I love the children that I have now and am trying to be positive and look to the future and trust in my Heavenly Father. One of my dearest friends said "don't you just wish that in these times we could talk to our Heavenly mother?" and I so feel that way now, to feel that comfort!!
So tomorrow I will keep running. It will take me this week to get back where I was last Monday, and I will get myself in a really good place physically and mentally, so when we do start trying again I will be ready!!

New Year

Ok, so I love that with a New Year, you can just throw everything bad that happened last year out the window, hold onto the good and begin a new journey!! This year is full of exciting things!! My plans haven't gone the way I thought they would be going by now but its funny how when your so focused on something, you don't see the things that are going on in the right here and now!! So this year has started off with our Relief Society giving us the challenge to read the Book of Mormon by May 1st, off to a good start on that! I am also training to run my first half marathon in April in Salt Lake City!! Anythings possible with hard work and determination right?? Ha ha! I am hoping with the running and good nutrition to drop 40 pounds by the run, lofty goal but I can do it!!! I want to get to the temple in Mesa at least once a month, and just can't wait until our Temple is done here and then my goal is to attend at least once a week (totally do-able with Willey's schedule). The in the fall Josh will start Kindergarten and Ryan preschool. I plan on spending a lot of good one on one time with Zack. I think I am ALWAYS striving to be a better, kinder mom and trying to be the fun loving girl that willey first married :)!! Gotta keep the romance alive :)!! I am sure so many things will happen that we won't expect but I say bring it on!! Positivity is my main goal for the year! I plan on making it the best I can!!

Christmas

So this is past Christmas I know, but I had to wait to get our disposable camera developed, but this will not happen any more because we finally got a replacement camera!!

We had my sister Marcie and her girls sleep over Christmas eve, and had a very busy night getting things ready for Santa. There were cookies to be frosted and reindeer food to set out and stories to be read, and the kids were all just so excited!! They all went straight to bed and it was the first night in a really long time that all of my children slept in their beds all night!! Santa's elf had already gotten most of the wrapping done the previous week, so there were just a few things left. Willey and I were so excited for them to get up in the morning!! So of course Josh was the first one of all the kids awake and he was so excited he was shaking. "Santa came, he really came", was all he kept saying and then he kept trying to wake up his brothers. Once they all were awake they came running out into the living room and they just had the look of pure joy and excitement on thier faces. I wish I could capture just that moment. Ryan saw that Santa had not eaten ALL the cookies and said "ugh, mom it didn't work, he didn't eat all the cookies", it was funny. We let them open their gifts from Santa and then we had to wait for Grandma and Grandpa and Callie to get there. Once they did it was pure chaos!! The kids had so much fun and really enjoyed their presents that they got. Then I made a big breakfast, cinnamon rolls, eggs bacon potatoes, it was to say the least delicious!! It was such a wonderful Christmas!! I really cannot wait until next year to do it all again.